miracles

Grey’s Anatomy.  I love it.  I binge watch old ones.  I faithfully record new ones.  I have no idea how “real” it is.  Would have to ask nurse Megan that question.  But I am right there in the middle of every surgery; every romance; every bit of humor.

Mostly I love the shows with the miracles.  Made up on this show, but they happen every day in real non-television life.

We had some miracles in our life, but it seemed always with a trade-off.  The birth of three babies, but the loss of five others.  People who came into our lives that we thought were forever, but now disappeared.  Falling in love at 15, but gone 49 years later.  Too soon.

Where was your miracle?  Where were the doctors carrying the life saving kidney in a cooler, rushing to your hospital bed?  Where were the nurses caring for you during and after surgery and watching you day and night to make sure you survived?  Where was that emotional roller coaster that we never got to ride?  You had a chance at a miracle, but selfish pride and errors in judgement prevailed.  And then it was too late.

you cry in private and mask your feelings with laughter in public.  sometimes you make up a story in your mind and you bring back good people in that story.  that’s how you just don’t sit down and give up.  that’s how you go on.

i-leave-you-my-heart