without you.
To say I am most thankful for the time we had together … in good times and in bad … in sickness and in health … just like Father Todd said on that one evening so many years ago, well, that would be such an understatement. The early Thanksgivings that were difficult – estranged from my family and a love so strong that I had to make a choice. And I did. I chose you. Another thankful check mark.
Days like today, I count my blessings. I also count my losses – November is a tough month for me. I wish I could be totally happy on Thanksgiving; but it hurts. My heart aches and the ache will turn to tears and I will slip away for just a moment to regain my composure and then rejoin the crowd. I miss you so. I wish I could come up with the word that would show my feeling – but I can’t. You could always feel my joy as well as my pain. That is what made the hurt bearable. Now you are gone and I need to handle it all on my own. I don’t like it, but that is what it is. I never needed the world to love me. I only needed you. Another gratitude.
Why did I fall in love with you so completely, that it makes losing you so overwhelming? It really doesn’t matter. If I had to do it all over again knowing I would lose you again, I would. I so very selfishly would. I love you, honey. Happy Thanksgiving.
a gdovin girl's perspective 