tranquility

The bedroom has been painted and the result is serene.  You would like it.  Hoping for better sleep in pastel.  I wish the dreams would stop and I wish the dreams to continue forever and ever and ever …  Have I told you how much I miss you?  You dutifully played the tambourine or the xylophone at Max and Abby’s direction.  You never flinched when Abby would just walk over and help herself to your lunch.  You rode along while I ran errands, and sat in the car and people watched or listened to the news and said you enjoyed the time out.  I suspect you were just there to offer me company, even though you wouldn’t admit to that.  I sometimes watch the Homicide Hunter and smile when he phrases a line that I know would make you laugh.  I miss sharing with you.  I miss sharing thoughts and laughs and love and time with you.  I just miss you.  Some days are so painful that I have begged God to give you back to me – just for little more time.  I know that any time would never be enough time.  My brain knows that.  My heart still wants just another year or day or minute.

The heart wants what the heart wants.