i woke up this morning

at 1:30.  Couldn’t figure out why for a few moments.  And then I did.

Two years ago you left me.  I still feel the sting of the words of the paramedic.  I remember when it was all over and I was alone; without you – for the first time in 45 years.  Still is surreal and I wonder if it will ever be not so.

Every morning I reach over to feel your touch and every morning, I cannot.  Every day I remember your voice.  And every night I await your “I love you”, and it never comes.

I have no more words to describe the feelings every morning and every night.  I feel like I have used every possible adjective there is and I have no more.

So, now I face the beginning of the third year by putting one foot in front of the other.  I don’t like it.

but, this is my life now.