why?

When I was a mere 5 years old, I knew that whatever happened, my Mom could fix it.  If something broke – she could glue it.  Something tore – Mom could sew it.  When a knee was scraped – she would apply Merthiolate and blow away the burning before she kissed it and made it all better.  When a heart was broken – she could hold me in a big hug on the sofa and let me watch soap operas with her, and after watching all of the woes on those shows, I forgot all about my sorrow.  Later on, of course, I realized that Mom couldn’t really fix everything, but I thought for sure my same abilities that my children experienced as little ones, would last forever.
That was until they were about 6 and I came to realize that I was powerless over many things.  Oh, sure, I could glue things and Neosporin knees and help fill in some homework.  But for the things that really mattered, my powers were useless.
This realization has somewhat paralyzed me.  For I am a fixer.  I was a junior high Ann Landers.  I was a high school Dr Phil.  And now I have lost my powers – my magical power to fix is gone.  And I hate the feeling.

One thought on “why?

  1. Connie Gardner says:

    Connie, Read your post from yesterday and you are right, but you are so, so wrong, too. We can't fix everything — or prevent things from happening. But, you are forgetting the role you play so beautifully and that is by giving love, you give everyone around you strength so they can work on fixing things for themselves – so they can live up to the example you've set. Can't count how many times your friendship and advice have "visited" me on a dark day and made me realize that I could do better, be nicer, and, if all else fails, simply cope. Don't discount your ability to make fixing possible and I hope, as your friend, the dark, rainy cloud is passing. I'll call later today.Love you,Pat

    Like

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