Wish you were here with me to celebrate. I would make you one of your favorites – lasagna and homemade garlic bread or my Mom’s country fried chicken with mashed potatoes and Sherrie corn. And you would be surrounded with kids and grandkids and two very special daughters. Spice cake (homemade) for dessert with my (almost famous) French white icing. Of course, there would have to be a theme. Lasagna would call for red and green decor with Mario Lanza playing thru Alexa. Fried chicken wouldn’t be complete without blue and white decor and your 50’s music, including the man himself – Elvis.
Same day – different year…
I started to write a new post for your birthday today, and as I was doing so, everything sounded so familiar. I realized that I was writing almost verbatim my post from 3 years ago.
Funny how memories stick with us – so familiar and vivid. Somehow, it feels so strange that we have missed so many years of birthdays and holidays now, yet I can see them all in my mind and remember the feelings down to the depth of my heart. I guess it is because all of our family and together time was always so important to us. So, when I relive those days, I see them in full color and can hear all of the noise and laughter as clear as if it was all happening now.
Things that have stuck with us. Sherrie corn. I still call it that. And now a family history lesson. We decided on a vacation back east so we could visit Ricky’s family in northern Virginia and on to North Carolina before heading down to Tennessee. When we got to North Carolina, Sherrie introduced us to the best Farmer’s Market we had ever seen, in Greensboro NC. It was huge. Sherrie picked up some farm fresh sweet corn and freshly churned butter for our dinner that evening. She cooked the fresh corn with the sweet cream butter. That immediately became your favorite side dish and from then on after, was given the name “Sherrie Corn”. And never again did I ever cook corn without it being Sherrie Corn – you wouldn’t hear of it done any other way. Those memories of birthday get togethers get me through this day every year.
They are great memories. But my favorite part of the day, after the guests had gone home, the dinner mess was cleaned up, the kitchen was dark with only the hum of the dishwasher. We would retreat to the livingroom to watch a movie or a favorite television show; your head resting on my shoulder and your hand wrapped around mine. Just enjoying being together. Quietly. Still in love just like we were fifteen again. We had been through many trials and tribulations – but more sweet memories and celebrations. And the little butterflies were still there. Just like in high school.
I so miss those days and evenings. Sometimes, I get lost inside my own brain wondering what I am doing here without you beside me. It tears at my heart and I have to take a moment to look at your picture to re-center myself and tell myself that it will all be fine. Of course it will never be as it was. So I hold tight to the memories and the feelings to get through the days. And sometimes while I sit, I can still feel your head on my shoulder and my hand in yours. And I look at your blue eyes in the photo and whisper, “happy birthday, honey…I love you”.
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